{"id":6093,"date":"2006-11-03T15:52:00","date_gmt":"2006-11-03T15:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/?p=6093"},"modified":"2023-06-20T16:08:18","modified_gmt":"2023-06-20T16:08:18","slug":"gordugum-bir-ruya","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/?p=6093","title":{"rendered":"G\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm Bir R\u00fcya"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

“R\u00fcya dedi\u011fin, demet demet hayallerdir”.
Kuran -Yusuf Suresi, Ayet: 44.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

R\u00fcyamda, bir ak\u015fam\u00fczeri, elimde iki bira \u015fi\u015fesi, \u00c7iftp\u0131nar yolu \u00fczerinde bulunan babam\u0131n mezar\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131nda bir t\u00fcmse\u011fe oturmu\u015fum. G\u00fcne\u015f yeni batm\u0131\u015f, etraf alacakaranl\u0131k. Bir \u00e7oban\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcne katt\u0131\u011f\u0131 davarlar\u0131n, arkas\u0131nda toz bulutlar\u0131 b\u0131rakarak ge\u00e7ti\u011fi yolun \u00f6te yan\u0131ndan, ba\u011f ve bah\u00e7elerinden d\u00f6nen g\u00fcne\u015ften kavrulmu\u015f \u00fcretken, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fkan insanlar yorgun ad\u0131mlarla ilerliyor. \u00c7imento Fabrikas\u0131 beyaz\u0131ms\u0131 toz bulutlar\u0131n\u0131 her zamanki gibi, Z\u00fclk\u00fcf Peygamber ve Meryem Ana’ya ait kutsal mek\u00e2nlar\u0131n bulundu\u011fu Makam Da\u011f\u0131’na savurup, da\u011f\u0131n heybet ve kutsall\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcyor. S\u0131caktan ve de \u00e7imento tozlar\u0131ndan olacak, ba\u011f kenarlar\u0131ndaki, bah\u00e7elerdeki a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n yapraklar\u0131 ya sararm\u0131\u015f ya da t\u00fcmden kurumu\u015f. \u00c7ermik taraf\u0131ndan eserken hafif\u00e7e yanaklar\u0131 ok\u015fayan r\u00fczg\u00e2r karars\u0131z bir \u015fekilde hem kesif \u00e7imento kokusunu, hem de sonbahar kokusunu y\u00fcklenmi\u015f. Divaneliler’in \u00e7oban k\u00f6pe\u011fi evlerin arkas\u0131nda dikkat kesilmi\u015f beni izliyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

G\u00f6l\u00fcn yan\u0131ndaki a\u011fa\u00e7lardan gelen koro halindeki ser\u00e7e c\u0131v\u0131lt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n e\u015flik etti\u011fi kavurucu s\u0131cakta, alaca ak\u015fam serinli\u011findeki so\u011fuk biradan ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m her yudum ruhumda ve bedenimde dirilik yarat\u0131yor. \u0130\u00e7erken h\u00fcz\u00fcn ve dirili\u011fi birlikte ya\u015f\u0131yorum. Bir nevi i\u00e7 hesapla\u015fmaday\u0131m: Yapmak istediklerimi, yapt\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131, yapamad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 ve daha \u00e7ok da ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m sanc\u0131l\u0131 s\u00fcreci ve bu s\u00fcre\u00e7te babam\u0131n \u00e7ektikleri, beni benden al\u0131p ge\u00e7mi\u015fe g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcyor. Bir evlat olarak kendisine verdi\u011fim s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 ve gerekti\u011fi \u015fekilde \u00f6devlerimi yerine getiremedi\u011fimi sessizce anlatmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum. Anlat\u0131rken, bir yandan da biramdan yudumlar al\u0131yorum. Do\u011frusu hem i\u00e7iyor, hem de dertle\u015fiyorum:
-Herkes \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015flerinin mezar\u0131na Fatiha okumak, dua okumak i\u00e7in g\u00fcnd\u00fcz gider. Ben bu ak\u015fam mezar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na i\u00e7ki i\u00e7meye geldim. Baba, beni anlayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 umuyorum ve duaya ihtiyac\u0131n olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum.
-Do\u011fru d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorsun, benim duaya ihtiyac\u0131m yok. Namussuzlar\u0131n, yalanc\u0131lar\u0131n, \u00fc\u00e7k\u00e2\u011f\u0131t\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131n, zalimlerin, yetim hakk\u0131 yiyenlerin\u2026 duaya ihtiyac\u0131 olur. Ben kimseyi incitmedim, g\u00fcnah say\u0131lacak bir eylemde bulunmad\u0131m. Kumar oynay\u0131p i\u00e7ki i\u00e7timse, bunlar hayat\u0131n renkleri ve zevkleri oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in yapt\u0131m. Hayat\u0131n renklerini g\u00f6rmeyen ve zevklerini tatmayanlar Allah’\u0131n nimetlerini geri tepenlerdir. Hayat\u0131na renk ve zevk katmayanlar zavall\u0131lar ve kara cahillerdir. Ben, insan\u0131, ya\u015fam\u0131 ve sevgiyi k\u0131ble bilenlerdenim. Neyse\u2026 ho\u015f geldin, nas\u0131ls\u0131n?
-\u0130yiyim. Bak, bir \u015fi\u015fe senin, bir \u015fi\u015fe de kendim i\u00e7in getirdim. Bu ak\u015fam birlikte i\u00e7elim diye.
-\u0130yi ettin geldin, ama ben i\u00e7emem, \u00f6l\u00fcler i\u00e7mez; benimkini de sen i\u00e7. \u0130\u00e7ki, uygun ko\u015fullarda \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fc i\u00e7ildi\u011finde bellekteki f\u0131rt\u0131nalar\u0131 dindirmeye yarar.
-Baba, seni hi\u00e7 unutmad\u0131m. \u0130stanbul’da da bazen evde yaln\u0131z ba\u015f\u0131ma i\u00e7erken akl\u0131ma sen d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyorsun. F\u0131rt\u0131nal\u0131 g\u00fcnlerde seni \u00e7ok \u00fczd\u00fck. Sana tam faydam\u0131z olacakken de bizleri b\u0131rak\u0131p gittin.
-Herkes \u00f6mr\u00fcnce ya\u015far o\u011flum, benim \u00f6mr\u00fcm de o kadarm\u0131\u015f. Ama sizlerin beni hat\u0131rlamas\u0131, mahcup etmemesi burada rahat uyumam\u0131 sa\u011fl\u0131yor. Sen ve karde\u015flerinle \u00f6v\u00fcn\u00e7 duyuyorum. A\u00e7 kald\u0131n\u0131z, susuz kald\u0131n\u0131z, i\u015fsiz kald\u0131n\u0131z; i\u015fkence g\u00f6rd\u00fcn\u00fcz, zul\u00fcm g\u00f6rd\u00fcn\u00fcz; baba oca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 terk etmek zorunda kald\u0131n\u0131z, ama g\u00fcc\u00fcn, egemenin, zulm\u00fcn ve paran\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda e\u011filmediniz, utan\u00e7 duyulacak bir \u015fey yapmad\u0131n\u0131z. Hep ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131z dik, aln\u0131n\u0131z a\u00e7\u0131k gezdiniz. Bug\u00fcn halen bir k\u0131s\u0131m s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar ya\u015fasan\u0131z da, zoru ba\u015fard\u0131n\u0131z. Kendi maddi ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 \u00fcrettiniz; insanlara yard\u0131mc\u0131 olmay\u0131 temel ilke edindiniz. Parazit de\u011fil, hep \u00fcretici oldunuz. Bundan g\u00fczel daha ne olabilir?
-Te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim baba. Bunlar hep senin sayende: Ne \u00f6\u011frendikse, senden \u00f6\u011frendik. Sen de\u011fil misin: “Cumali \u015fahin y\u00fcceden y\u00fcce\/\u00c2lemin dilinde para senin erenler” diyen. Bizler yenildik, ama teslim olmad\u0131k. Bedelini a\u011f\u0131r \u00f6desek de, yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z o d\u00f6nem bizlerin zulme, bask\u0131ya, yoksullu\u011fa, geri kalm\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011fa bir isyan\u0131, ba\u015fkald\u0131r\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131. O g\u00fcnler yak\u0131n tarihimizin onurlu sayfalar\u0131d\u0131r\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u00f6yleyeceklerimi daha bitirmemi\u015ftim ki, bakt\u0131m biralar bitmi\u015f: Ay\u0131ld\u0131m, kendime geldim. Kalkt\u0131m: “Her \u015feyde bir hay\u0131r vard\u0131r” deyip, \u00dc\u00e7evler’deki evimize, anam\u0131n yan\u0131na gittim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

R\u00fcya; ki\u015finin bilin\u00e7alt\u0131ndaki d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerinin, \u00f6zlemlerinin ya da isteklerinin uyku esnas\u0131nda bir film \u015feridi gibi g\u00f6z \u00f6n\u00fcnden ge\u00e7mesi olarak tan\u0131mlan\u0131r. Hep, “r\u00fcyalar ger\u00e7ek olsa” dile\u011finde bulunulur. Peki, ger\u00e7ekler r\u00fcya olsa ne olur?
***
\u00d6l\u00fcm, insan\u0131n en g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc d\u00fc\u015fmesidir do\u011fadan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130nsan bir kere d\u00fc\u015fmesin. Bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce, bir daha kalk\u0131\u015f yok!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00d6l\u00fcme katlanmak zor, ama \u00f6l\u00fcm ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmaz.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Babam Cuma \u00dcz\u00fclmez’in daha ya\u015fayaca\u011f\u0131 g\u00fczel g\u00fcnler, okuyaca\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ok kitap, yazaca\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ok \u015fiir, yapaca\u011f\u0131 daha \u00e7ok cami ve minare, bir \u015feyler \u00f6\u011fretece\u011fi \u00e7ok insan, kahvede arkada\u015flar\u0131yla oynayaca\u011f\u0131 oyun ve daha i\u00e7ece\u011fi \u00e7ok rak\u0131 varken, 13 y\u0131l \u00f6nce, 8 Temmuz 1993’te ya\u015fama g\u00f6zlerini yumdu: Y\u0131ld\u0131z olup, g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne akt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu nedenle, bulutsuz duru gecelerde y\u0131ld\u0131zlara her bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda hep h\u00fcz\u00fcnlenirim. (6 Eyl\u00fcl 2006-Ergani)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3 Kas\u0131m 2006 tarihinde Ergani Haber gazetesinde,
Aral\u0131k 2006’de Berfin Bahar (Say\u0131:106) dergisinde yay\u0131mland\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n

8 temmuz 1993<\/a>, <\/span>bira<\/a>, <\/span>cuma \u00fcz\u00fclmez<\/a>, <\/span>divaneliler<\/a>, <\/span>ergani<\/a>, <\/span>fatiha okumak<\/a>, <\/span>g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm bir r\u00fcya<\/a>, <\/span>mezarl\u0131k<\/a>, <\/span>\u00f6l\u00fcm<\/a>, <\/span>r\u00fcya<\/a>, <\/span>\u00fc\u00e7evler<\/a>, <\/span>yusuf suresi ayet: 44<\/a><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“R\u00fcya dedi\u011fin, demet demet hayallerdir”.Kuran -Yusuf Suresi, Ayet: 44. R\u00fcyamda, bir ak\u015fam\u00fczeri, elimde iki bira \u015fi\u015fesi, \u00c7iftp\u0131nar yolu \u00fczerinde bulunan babam\u0131n mezar\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131nda bir t\u00fcmse\u011fe oturmu\u015fum. G\u00fcne\u015f yeni batm\u0131\u015f, etraf alacakaranl\u0131k. Bir \u00e7oban\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcne katt\u0131\u011f\u0131 davarlar\u0131n, arkas\u0131nda toz bulutlar\u0131 b\u0131rakarak ge\u00e7ti\u011fi yolun \u00f6te yan\u0131ndan, ba\u011f ve bah\u00e7elerinden d\u00f6nen g\u00fcne\u015ften kavrulmu\u015f \u00fcretken, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fkan insanlar yorgun ad\u0131mlarla ilerliyor. \u00c7imento Fabrikas\u0131 beyaz\u0131ms\u0131 toz bulutlar\u0131n\u0131 her zamanki gibi, Z\u00fclk\u00fcf Peygamber ve Meryem Ana’ya ait kutsal mek\u00e2nlar\u0131n bulundu\u011fu Makam Da\u011f\u0131’na savurup, da\u011f\u0131n heybet ve kutsall\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcyor. S\u0131caktan ve de \u00e7imento tozlar\u0131ndan olacak, ba\u011f kenarlar\u0131ndaki, bah\u00e7elerdeki a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n yapraklar\u0131 ya sararm\u0131\u015f ya da t\u00fcmden kurumu\u015f. \u00c7ermik taraf\u0131ndan<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1197,3403],"tags":[4071,1039,488,4069,129,4074,4068,4072,4076,4070,4075,4073],"class_list":["post-6093","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kultur","category-plus","tag-8-temmuz-1993","tag-bira","tag-cuma-uzulmez","tag-divaneliler","tag-ergani","tag-fatiha-okumak","tag-gordugum-bir-ruya","tag-mezarlik","tag-olum","tag-ruya","tag-ucevler-2","tag-yusuf-suresi-ayet-44"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6093","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6093"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6093\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6094,"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6093\/revisions\/6094"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6093"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6093"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6093"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}