{"id":5011,"date":"1996-10-01T09:10:00","date_gmt":"1996-10-01T09:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/?p=5011"},"modified":"2023-05-20T11:07:20","modified_gmt":"2023-05-20T11:07:20","slug":"gelincik-yurdunda-bahar-siir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/?p=5011","title":{"rendered":"Gelincik Yurdunda Bahar (\u015eiir)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

M\u00fcsl\u00fcm \u00dcz\u00fclmez, Kendi Yay\u0131n\u0131, Ekim 1996, \u0130stanbul, 92 sayfa.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

\u00d6ns\u00f6z<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015fiir
s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerin
ak ka\u011f\u0131t \u00fcst\u00fcnde
ahenkle dans edip
sonra sevi\u015fmesi olsa gerek?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

B\u0130R\u0130NC\u0130 B\u00d6L\u00dcM<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

g\u00fczel olan
hayat\u0131n gergefinde
payla\u015fman\u0131n mutlulu\u011funu ya\u015famakt\u0131r<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

dilek<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ipek elli dokumac\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131n
gergefindeki her yeni nak\u0131\u015f
isterim ki
ci\u011ferlere saplanan alevlenmi\u015f
bir kur\u015fun de\u011fil
g\u00f6n\u00fclleri ate\u015ften kavrulan
sevdal\u0131lar\u0131n bulu\u015ftu\u011fu
bir g\u00fcl bah\u00e7esi olsun<\/p>\n\n\n\n

da\u011flar<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

birinin ba\u015f\u0131
di\u011ferinin eteklerine yaslanm\u0131\u015f
yan yana uzay\u0131p giden
karl\u0131 da\u011flar
ulusunuz
g\u00fcne\u015f \u00f6nce size do\u011far<\/p>\n\n\n\n

do\u011fru olan<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

y\u00fcre\u011finin
ve beynin
diri kalmas\u0131
ihanet ve yanl\u0131\u015fa
d\u00fc\u015fmemesi i\u00e7in
ak\u0131l\u0131na dan\u0131\u015f
ku\u015fkuya d\u00fc\u015fersen
y\u00fcre\u011finin sesini dinle<\/p>\n\n\n\n

her \u015feyi \u00e7ok iyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fclmeli
karar vermeden \u00f6nce
yoksa yanl\u0131\u015f hesap
ba\u011fdat’tan d\u00f6ner<\/p>\n\n\n\n

a\u015fk\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011fe nak\u015feden<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

zulm\u00fcn dikenleri aras\u0131na gizlenerek
y\u00fcre\u011fimin en gizli k\u00f6\u015fesinde
inad\u0131na a\u00e7an
g\u00fczel k\u0131r \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fim:
ac\u0131y\u0131 bala
umutsuzlu\u011fu umuda
sava\u015f\u0131 bar\u0131\u015fa
\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc ya\u015fama
suyu buhara
buhar\u0131 ya\u011fmura
ya\u011fmuru berekete
bereketi a\u015fka
a\u015fk\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011fe nak\u015feden
hi\u00e7 bitmeyecek olan gizli sevdamd\u0131r<\/p>\n\n\n\n

bu \u00f6yle bir sevdad\u0131r ki
i\u011fne ucu \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131 en zay\u0131f yerimde
-y\u00fcre\u011fimde-
\u00e7o\u011falt\u0131r ha \u00e7o\u011falt\u0131r<\/p>\n\n\n\n

sevginin cazibesi<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

sevginin
cazibesini belirleyen
onu
geli\u015ftiren
ve
devaml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flayan
karanfilin
kokusu mu
karanfilin
rengi mi
yoksa
hem kokusu
hem rengi mi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

a\u015fk\u0131n analizi<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

hayat laboratuar\u0131nda
bir kimyac\u0131 olarak
yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m analizde
a\u015fk\u0131n:
y\u00fczde yirmisinin sevgi
y\u00fczde yirmisinin tutku
y\u00fczde onunun tutkunun
al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f hali<\/p>\n\n\n\n

y\u00fczde yirmisinin \u00f6zlem
y\u00fczde on be\u015finin sab\u0131r
y\u00fczde onunun umut
y\u00fczde d\u00f6rd\u00fcn\u00fcn g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131
y\u00fczde birinin ise di\u011ferleri
oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fcm<\/p>\n\n\n\n

a\u015fk
benim i\u00e7in ise
yavru bir ser\u00e7enin
korkuyla ilk kanat vuru\u015fu
deli bir g\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fcn isyanlar\u0131nda
k\u0131z\u0131l rengiyle yanan umududur<\/p>\n\n\n\n

dilim tuzlan\u0131r<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

hangi mevsimin
ya\u011fmurusun g\u00fczelim?
bilinmeyen mevsimin ya\u011fmuru
nas\u0131l bir etki b\u0131rak\u0131r
bilinmez!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

bildi\u011fim
da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k yata\u011f\u0131nda
vi\u015fne \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fc\u011f\u00fc bluzun s\u0131yr\u0131l\u0131nca kollar\u0131mda
dilim tuzlan\u0131r
\u015fehvetten kavaran diri memelerin ucunda<\/p>\n\n\n\n

mutluluktan u\u00e7mak<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

tomurcuklar\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7m\u0131\u015f bekleyen
hayranl\u0131k verici k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcn
katmerleri aras\u0131nda
o m\u00fcthi\u015f
o insan\u0131 mest eden
hazz\u0131n \u00e7\u0131ld\u0131rtan kesi\u015fiminde:
oyna\u015fan s\u0131cak ten
ok\u015fayan s\u0131cakl\u0131k
moraran arzulu dudaklardaki ate\u015f
kan\u0131m\u0131 alev alev yakt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda
kan\u0131m\u0131n buhar bas\u0131nc\u0131
bedenimi mutluluktan u\u00e7urmakta
dudaklar\u0131mdan ate\u015fli \u015fiirler d\u00f6k\u00fclmekte\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

haydi \u015ferefe<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

g\u00fclen g\u00f6zlerin
g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc serinletici bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131nda
buz beyaz\u0131 kadehlerdeki
rak\u0131n\u0131n bu\u011fulu anasonlu tad\u0131yla
g\u00f6zden ve g\u00f6n\u00fclden olmadan
bu gece deliler gibi
yer \u00e7ekimsizli\u011fin bulan\u0131k evreninde
gezinerek
i\u00e7mek istiyorum<\/p>\n\n\n\n

bu gece i\u00e7mek istiyorum!
keyfimin \u015fah\u0131nda
davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 engelleyen s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p
alkol\u00fcn y\u00fcksek derecesinde
bilincimi d\u00fc\u015flerime \u00f6d\u00fcn\u00e7 vererek
k\u0131rkbe\u015f ya\u015f\u0131mda:
sevdalar\u0131m\u0131
kavgalar\u0131m\u0131
gen\u00e7li\u011fimi
her yudumda yeniden ya\u015famak
1995’e umutla bakmak istiyorum
gelecek g\u00fczel g\u00fcnler \u015ferefine
“haydi \u015ferefe” diyorum.
30.12.1994\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ne yap\u0131yor acaba?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

tarih sekiz ocak bindokuzy\u00fczdoksanbe\u015f
g\u00fcnlerden pazartesi saat onalt\u0131otuz<\/p>\n\n\n\n

vatan caddesinde
sokak lambalar\u0131 \u0131\u015f\u0131l \u0131\u015f\u0131l
ak\u0131yor renk renk otomobil farlar\u0131
bense
vak\u0131f gureba’da
ameliyattan yeni \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f
burnumda tampon s\u0131rt\u00fcst\u00fc yat\u0131yorum
ve yatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m odadan
yanan lambalar\u0131, akan farlar\u0131 seyredip
sevgili kar\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum<\/p>\n\n\n\n

bug\u00fcn
bir tekstil fabrikas\u0131nda
yeni i\u015fe ba\u015flayacakt\u0131\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015fimdi ne yap\u0131yor acaba?
ocak 1995\/gureba hastahanesi<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

i\u015fin s\u0131rr\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

hastahanelerin \u00fcrpertici
h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc duvarlar\u0131 aras\u0131nda
insanlar\u0131 dirilten
insanlar\u0131n y\u00fcre\u011fini \u0131s\u0131tan
doktorlar\u0131n:
i\u015flek beyinleri
g\u00f6zlerindeki \u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131
\u015fifa da\u011f\u0131tan h\u00fcnerli m\u00fcbarek elleri
ve
ayd\u0131nl\u0131k beyazl\u0131k i\u00e7indeki
tatl\u0131 g\u00fczel hem\u015firelerin
sevimli g\u00fcl\u00fcc\u00fckleridir
9 ocak 1995\/gureba hastahanesi<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

havalar bozuk<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

televizyonda a\u00e7\u0131kland\u0131:
havalar par\u00e7al\u0131 bulutlu
zaman zaman ya\u011f\u0131\u015fl\u0131 olacak<\/p>\n\n\n\n

b\u00f6yle havalarda
ya\u011fmurdan kendini korumak i\u00e7in
al\u0131rs\u0131n \u015femsiyeyi
korursun kendini<\/p>\n\n\n\n

peki
d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn tarlas\u0131nda a\u00e7an g\u00fcllerin
d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131 bol topraklarda
tipi
dolu
f\u0131rt\u0131na
ve bombadan
nas\u0131l koruyacaks\u0131n kendini?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

nas\u0131l koruyaca\u011f\u0131z kendimizi?
21 mart 1995\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

g\u00f6zlerim kan \u00e7ana\u011f\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

korku ve suskunlu\u011fun egemen olu\u011fu
kalle\u015f zamanda
ya\u015famla \u00f6l\u00fcm s\u0131n\u0131r\u0131nda
gezinen sinsi karanl\u0131k
\u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc m\u00fc \u00fcst\u00fcne diyarbak\u0131r’\u0131n
korku d\u00fc\u015fer kalplere
kelebekler konmak istemez \u00e7i\u00e7eklere\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

g\u00f6zlerim kan \u00e7ana\u011f\u0131
mart 1995\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

g\u00fcvercinin kanat vuru\u015fu<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

mevsim
bahar olmas\u0131na bahar ama
kar \u00e7i\u00e7ekleri
d\u00fc\u015flerim
ve \u00fclkem
kandan a\u011f\u0131rla\u015fan
demir postallar alt\u0131nda<\/p>\n\n\n\n

beyinler ise
zehirli yalanla
ger\u00e7ek ikileminde
bir sarka\u00e7 gibi sal\u0131nmakta<\/p>\n\n\n\n

alacakaranl\u0131k bu ya\u015famda:
kar \u00e7i\u00e7eklerinin g\u00fczelli\u011finden
menek\u015felerin kokusundan
kelebeklerin renginden
a\u015fka \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ran nisan ya\u011fmurlar\u0131ndan
olacak ki
kanl\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131k kanatl\u0131 ak g\u00fcvercin
gagas\u0131ndaki zeytin dal\u0131yla
sonsuzlu\u011fun mavili\u011finde kanat \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131p
g\u00f6z
gez
ve arpac\u0131ktan
umudu a\u015f\u0131rmakta
\u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011fe u\u00e7makta
g\u00fcvercinin her kanat vuru\u015funda
benimde k\u0131v\u0131lc\u0131m
y\u00fcre\u011fimde umut
art-mak-ta
20 Nisan 1995\/\u0130stanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

kara bedenlim<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

dicle kokan diyarbak\u0131r’\u0131m
bilenler bilir
i\u00e7 kaleni
birde s\u0131rt\u0131nda ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n
tarihin silesi nikahs\u0131z \u00e7ileni<\/p>\n\n\n\n

tarih kokan diyarbak\u0131r’\u0131m
sana
ne talih
ne tarih
g\u00fcld\u00fc
a\u00e7maz oldu a\u00e7an g\u00fcllerin
nice
fidan boylu delikanl\u0131lar\u0131n
d\u00fcnya g\u00fczeli k\u0131zlar\u0131n soldu<\/p>\n\n\n\n

hasret kokan kara bedenlim
surlar\u0131n bile seni
zulm\u00fcn karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan
koruyamad\u0131
tarih kitaplar\u0131 da zaten yazm\u0131yor
-kuruldu\u011fundan bu yana-
kim bilir ne ordular s\u00fcr\u00fcld\u00fc \u00fcst\u00fcne?
bir bilen olsa da anlatsa
\u015fahlan\u0131rd\u0131 eminim \u00f6fkenden
surlar\u0131n
biliyorum ba\u015fkald\u0131r\u0131 an\u0131t\u0131d\u0131r
bedenlerin
may\u0131s 1995\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ak\u0131yor iki g\u00f6z\u00fcm<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1.<\/strong>
dicle bir g\u00f6z\u00fcm
f\u0131rat bir g\u00f6z\u00fcm
dicle f\u0131rat iki g\u00f6z\u00fcm
durmadan ak\u0131yor iki g\u00f6z\u00fcm<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2.<\/strong>
dicle f\u0131rat aras\u0131
g\u00fcne\u015f
toprak
ve suyun yurdunda
dicle f\u0131rat aras\u0131
verimli ayda
dicle f\u0131rat aras\u0131
yak\u0131c\u0131 g\u00fcne\u015f alt\u0131nda
kimliksizlikten
topraks\u0131zl\u0131ktan
i\u015fsizlikten
ve barut kokusundan
med’lerin torunlar\u0131
ya\u015fam\u0131n en a\u011f\u0131r \u00e7ilesini s\u00fcr\u00fcyorlar
tarihin s\u0131nav\u0131ndan ge\u00e7iyorlar<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3.<\/strong>
g\u00fcne\u015fin do\u011fdu\u011fu yer \u015fimdi karlar alt\u0131nda
kartal yuvas\u0131 da\u011flar\u0131nda
f\u0131rat a\u011flar dicle hep g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4.<\/strong>
tarihin dilinden anlayanlar
duyar binlerce y\u0131l\u0131n t\u00fcrk\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc
d\u00f6k\u00fcld\u00fck\u00e7e kan \u00e7ana\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6zlerden
harlanm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6n\u00fcllere d\u00fc\u015fer
yakar y\u00fcrekleri olur ate\u015f g\u00fclleri
a\u011fustos 1995\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

GAP<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

zul\u00fcmlerin aynas\u0131na bakan g\u00f6zlerden
bo\u015fanan damlalar\u0131n
ve z\u00fcmr\u00fct ye\u015fili akan sular\u0131n
a\u015fkla bulu\u015ftu\u011fu
GAP!
sen
bin y\u0131ll\u0131k
yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131
sen
bin y\u0131ll\u0131k
talihsizli\u011fi
yenebilecek misin?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

bekleyip g\u00f6rece\u011fiz!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

sen yoksun<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1.<\/strong>
her \u015fey sana endekslenmi\u015f
ekonomik geli\u015fme
demokratikle\u015fme
ulusal g\u00fcvenlik
ulusal esenlik
i\u00e7 politika
d\u0131\u015f politika
hani sen yoktun!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2.<\/strong>
her yerde g\u00fcndem maddesi sensin
her yerde sen konu\u015fuluyorsun
milli g\u00fcvenlik kurulunda
mecliste
siyasi parti grup odalar\u0131nda
kapal\u0131 kap\u0131lar\u0131n ard\u0131nda
toplant\u0131lar\u0131nda
bas\u0131nda
televizyonlarda\u2026
yine de
yasalara g\u00f6re sen yoksun!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3.<\/strong>
tarih sana hep oyun etmi\u015f
devletler
siviller
\u00f6zel timler
ve nice siyasi olu\u015fumlar
ve kendi i\u00e7inden \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f hainlerin
-ne \u00e7ok da hainlerin varm\u0131\u015f!?-
durmadan
seni vurmu\u015f ha vurmu\u015f
yani gelen vurmu\u015f giden vurmu\u015f
yine de seni t\u00fcketememi\u015fler<\/p>\n\n\n\n

me\u011fer sen neymi\u015fsin
benim
as\u0131rlar boyu diline kilit vurulmu\u015f
kimliksiz k\u00fcrd\u00fcm?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

yeter art\u0131k<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

g\u00f6zler kan \u00e7ana\u011f\u0131
\u00fclkemin her yan\u0131n\u0131
zehirli y\u0131lanlar ve yalan sarm\u0131\u015f
\u00fclkemin her yan\u0131nda
s\u00fcr\u00fcyor ac\u0131mas\u0131zca sava\u015f<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ne zaman duracak
bu kin
bu kan?!.
ne zaman duracak?
yeter art\u0131k
bu \u00f6l\u00fcmler
bu yalanlar<\/p>\n\n\n\n

feryat<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

yang\u0131na k\u00f6r\u00fckle gidiliyor
gazi mahallesinde
kurulmu\u015f barikatlar
her taraf polis
her taraf asker
her taraf panzer
panzer
panzer\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

gazi gazze’ye d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f!
barikatlar\u0131n arkas\u0131nda
kanl\u0131 g\u00f6mlekleriyle yat\u0131yor \u00f6l\u00fcler
\u00f6l\u00fcler
\u00f6l\u00fcler\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

y\u00fcrekler tutu\u015fmu\u015f yan\u0131yor!
her tarafta yine ac\u0131
yine feryat
yine g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131
yine kan
kan
kan\u2026
13 mart 1995\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

deli g\u00f6nl\u00fcm isyanda<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“can\u0131m
bu kadar niye \u00e7ok i\u00e7iyorsun<\/em>?”
diyorsun
g\u00fcl\u00fcm
\u00e7ok i\u00e7iyorum, hakl\u0131s\u0131n
ama i\u00e7meyip de ne yapay\u0131m
yine
canlar namlunun ucunda
deli g\u00f6nl\u00fcm isyanda
bug\u00fcn newroz
21 mart 1995\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

hi\u00e7 unutmad\u0131m!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

         Dr. Erhan Barut'a...<\/code><\/pre>\n\n\n\n
1.<\/strong>
yerdeyim
g\u00f6zlerim ba\u011fl\u0131
\u015fefler ba\u015f\u0131mda
m\u00fcbarek tabip ellerin \u00fczerimdeydi
sorguda
sen
doktor oldu\u011fun i\u00e7in
iyile\u015ftirmek istiyordun
onlar
tekrar i\u015fkenceye al\u0131nmam
ve konu\u015fabilece\u011fim kadar
iyile\u015ftirmek istiyorlard\u0131
bense
ya\u015famak istiyordum!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.<\/strong>
\u00e7ok zaman ge\u00e7ti aradan
o en zor g\u00fcn\u00fcmde
o en zor an\u0131mda
beni iyile\u015ftirmek isteyen
tabip ellerini
dost bak\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131
ve otuzalt\u0131nc\u0131 h\u00fccrede verdi\u011fin
aspirin ile di\u015f f\u0131r\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131
hi\u00e7 unutmad\u0131m!
may\u0131s 1995\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
kafam dumanl\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
mevsim k\u0131\u015f
kar da ha ya\u011fd\u0131 ha ya\u011facak
gri bir ya\u015fam \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f
\u00fcst\u00fcne istanbul’un<\/p>\n\n\n\n
geceler karanl\u0131k
arka sokaklar ac\u0131mas\u0131z
havalar da so\u011fuk
\u00fcrk\u00fct\u00fcc\u00fc karanl\u0131k bu d\u00fc\u015fman gecelerde
umudum
bahar sabahlar\u0131nda do\u011fan g\u00fcne\u015f
d\u00fc\u015flerim
karanl\u0131k gecenin kalbine sokulan ayd\u0131nl\u0131k<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ellerim cebimde
d\u00fc\u015flerimle
umutlar\u0131mla
ac\u0131mas\u0131z karanl\u0131k sokaklarda
bir ba\u015f\u0131may\u0131m
y\u00fcr\u00fcyorum
kafam dumanl\u0131\u2026
28 kas\u0131m 1995\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
g\u00fczel olan<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
masam\u0131zda:
ek\u015fi nar
ye\u015fil marul
ac\u0131l\u0131 \u00e7i\u011fk\u00f6fte
ve tabi birde
g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc sevdi\u011fim
asma teveklerinin e\u015fsiz tad\u0131
i\u00e7kilerin \u015fah\u0131
rak\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ac\u0131 ve kederi
i\u00e7kimize her zaman
meze yapacak de\u011filiz ya
bazen sevin\u00e7lerimizi de i\u00e7kimize
meze yapmas\u0131n\u0131 bilmeliyiz<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ve bizde inad\u0131na \u00f6yle yapt\u0131k!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
i\u00e7ki masas\u0131nda da olsa
dostlar\u0131m\u0131n
y\u00fczlerinin ve g\u00f6zlerinin g\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rmek
d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en g\u00fczel \u015feyi<\/p>\n\n\n\n
a\u015fk\u0131nla beni vurma<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
kirpiklerin g\u00f6lgeledi\u011fi g\u00f6zlerin \u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131lar\u0131
ve dalgal\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131n aras\u0131nda
bir yelkenli gibi r\u00fczgarda u\u00e7u\u015fan
engin denizlere a\u00e7\u0131lman\u0131n sarho\u015flu\u011fuyla
\u00f6p\u00fc\u015flerinde ya\u015fam\u0131 yakalad\u0131\u011f\u0131m
sevi\u015fine kurban oldu\u011fum
hayalimdeki a\u015fk\u0131m\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131l g\u00fcl\u00fc<\/p>\n\n\n\n
b\u0131rak
senin de y\u00fcre\u011fin yans\u0131n
sevdan ate\u015fiyle yanan
bu ate\u015fle \u00f6zde\u015f
y\u00fcre\u011fimin yan\u0131nda
yok y\u00fcre\u011finle yanmayacaksan
yok yaral\u0131 g\u00f6nl\u00fcme mehlem olmayacaksan
yok \u00e7atal g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcnde beni kollar\u0131na almayacaksan
yok sevgiden dam\u0131t\u0131lan \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nla
beni ayd\u0131nlatmayacaksan
o zaman
a\u015fk\u0131nla beni vurma!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ben zaten fitili ate\u015flenmi\u015f
bir dinamit kuyusuyum<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00e7\u0131kars\u0131z ili\u015fkilerin insan\u0131n\u0131 ar\u0131yorum<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
en k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fc ne
biliyor musun?
s\u00fcrme \u00e7ekmi\u015f geceler de\u011fil
parampar\u00e7a duygular\u0131m\u0131n
derinliklerine i\u015fleyen yaln\u0131zl\u0131k<\/p>\n\n\n\n
susuzluktan \u00e7atlam\u0131\u015f toprak
a\u015fka susam\u0131\u015f dudak
hasretten yanm\u0131\u015f y\u00fcrek gibi ben
bilinciyle
y\u00fcre\u011fiyle
inanc\u0131yla
\u00e7\u0131kars\u0131z ili\u015fkilerin insan\u0131n\u0131
ar\u0131yorum<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ne dersin?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
1.<\/strong>
d\u00fcn birbirimize inanarak
birbirimize g\u00fcvenerek
hi\u00e7bir ki\u015fisel \u00e7\u0131kar beklemeksizin
ve \u00e7ok temiz duygularla
ortak sevincimiz i\u00e7in
inan\u00e7la kol kola girdik
\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131k devrimci bir ruhla
o uzun yola
olduk arkada\u015f<\/p>\n\n\n\n
bug\u00fcn
d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerimizin farkl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan
yollar\u0131m\u0131z ayr\u0131lsa da
yine de bizler
her baharda
koca bir \u00e7\u0131nar\u0131n
yeniden ye\u015feren dallar\u0131y\u0131z<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.<\/strong>
\u201cben kimseye g\u00fcvenmiyorum<\/em>\u201d
diyorsun<\/p>\n\n\n\n
kendini
ve bu g\u00fcven bunal\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fmal\u0131s\u0131n
dostluklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n harc\u0131nda
kan ter ve g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131n oldu\u011funu
nas\u0131l unutabilirsin?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
birka\u00e7 ayr\u0131k ot \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f
ne \u00f6nemi var
a benim g\u00fczel dostum<\/p>\n\n\n\n
bizler dostuz
dost kalaca\u011f\u0131z
yeter ki
ya\u015fam\u0131n nimetlerini
sopan\u0131n g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc
g\u00f6r\u00fcnce
i\u00e7imize bir y\u0131lan zehri gibi akmas\u0131n \u0130HANET<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ya\u015fam\u0131n diyalekti\u011fi<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
1.<\/strong>
ya\u015fam\u0131m\u0131z boyunca
yarataca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z de\u011ferlerden
verece\u011fimiz sevgiden
daha onurlu
daha co\u015fkulu
daha g\u00fczel
ne olabilir?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.<\/strong>
\u00e7irkinli\u011fin \u015fiddeti
\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn dayan\u0131lmaz ac\u0131s\u0131
ve karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n sevimsiz y\u00fcz\u00fc kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda
gelece\u011fi sabaha
ya\u015fam\u0131 bahara
d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrecek olan
ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n dayan\u0131lmaz umudu
insan sevgisi
ve insanlardaki m\u00fccadele ruhunun y\u00fcceli\u011fi
de\u011fil mi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3.<\/strong>
a\u015fk ve ruh g\u00fczelli\u011fimiz
duygular\u0131m\u0131za rakip de\u011fil
onunla
\u015firin bir do\u011fall\u0131k
kat\u0131ks\u0131z bir safl\u0131k
ve de sarma\u015f\u0131k
olmal\u0131 ki
insan sabr\u0131n\u0131 t\u00fcketen
d\u00fc\u015f ve korkulardan olu\u015fan bu ya\u015famda
hayat:
sevgi y\u00fckl\u00fc bir duyguyla okyanuslardan
ulu da\u011flar\u0131n doru\u011funa esen
bir f\u0131rt\u0131na gibi ge\u00e7sin<\/p>\n\n\n\n
gelincik yurdunda bahar<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
kavgan\u0131n har\u0131nda
\u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck u\u011fruna
yan\u0131p y\u0131ld\u0131zlara akan
yi\u011fitlerin y\u00fcz\u00fc suyu h\u00fcrmetine
bulutlar
ya\u011fmura sevdalan\u0131p
gebe kalacak
tohumlar
sevda y\u00fckl\u00fc ya\u011fmurla
cemre d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde topra\u011fa
binlerce gelincik olacak
gelincik yurdu
umudun
maddi g\u00fcce d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmesinin sevinciyle
g\u00fcne\u015fe g\u00f6z k\u0131rpacak
o g\u00fcn geldi\u011finde
yurdumda her \u015fey bir ba\u015fka olacak<\/p>\n\n\n\n
tad\u0131 tuzu kalmad\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
tad\u0131 tuzu kalmad\u0131
enflasyon zam pahal\u0131l\u0131k
can\u0131m\u0131za okudu
daha okuyaca\u011f\u0131ndan da gayr\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
birde \u00fcst\u00fcne \u00fcstl\u00fck
h\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131kta becerikli
y\u00f6netmekte beceriksiz olan
y\u00f6neticiler durmadan
nasihat ediyorlar
“kemerleri biraz daha s\u0131kmak laz\u0131m” diye<\/p>\n\n\n\n
bilmiyorlar m\u0131 bizde
kemerler s\u0131k\u0131la s\u0131k\u0131la
ne s\u0131kacak kemerin deli\u011fi
ne de s\u0131k\u0131lacak bel kald\u0131!
eyl\u00fcl-1995\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
ayba\u015f\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
bir
kad\u0131n\u0131n m\u0131
bir
memurun mu
daha sanc\u0131l\u0131d\u0131r
ayba\u015flar\u0131?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ne dersiniz!?
haziran-1996\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
bu i\u015fin sonu iyi de\u011fil<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
1.<\/strong>
memur maa\u015flar\u0131 zam lanm\u0131\u015f
‘enflasyon canavar\u0131’ varken
zam gelse ne yazar?
hem nas\u0131l olsa tepedekiler hep:
teperler tepi\u015ftirirler
yerler yerle\u015ftirirler
\u00e7alarlar \u00e7ald\u0131r\u0131rlar
ve sonra derler
“b\u00fct\u00e7e a\u00e7\u0131k veriyor”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
tabi a\u00e7\u0131k verir
sanki devlet b\u00fct\u00e7esi de\u011fil m\u00fcbarek
besleme kanal\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.<\/strong>
memurun \u00e7ilesi
derece kademe ekg\u00f6sterge
ve taban ayl\u0131\u011f\u0131na ba\u011fl\u0131
“kibrit kutusu odalara t\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015f”
“insan konserveleri” zaten hi\u00e7
hesap tutturamaz
ayl\u0131k al\u0131nca
\u00e7\u0131k \u00e7\u0131kabilirsen
rezil paras\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ve tutmaz hesab\u0131n i\u00e7inden
haaa\u2026 birde her g\u00fcn her saat:
“biraz fedakarl\u0131\u011fa katlanmalar\u0131 laz\u0131m”
“biraz daha kemerleri s\u0131kmak
kesmek gerek ayl\u0131klar\u0131”
“onlarda bu vatan\u0131n evlatlar\u0131
ama sab\u0131r etmeleri laz\u0131m”
diye
geleni s\u00f6yler
gideni s\u00f6yler
illa da sabr\u0131 s\u00f6ylerler<\/p>\n\n\n\n
yaln\u0131z g\u00f6r\u00fcnen o ki
hi\u00e7te bu sabr\u0131n sonu iyi de\u011fil!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
herkes kendi pay\u0131na iyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcns\u00fcn!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
                 haziran-1996<\/em><\/code><\/pre>\n\n\n\n
nereye kadar?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
bu ne zenginlik
bu ne b\u00fcy\u00fckl\u00fck
bu ne servet ki
yediler
bitmedi
\u00e7ald\u0131lar
bitmedi
soydular
bitmedi
ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131lar
bitmedi
ve t\u00fckenmedi
t\u00fcketilmedi
ha babam hapur
de babam \u015fapur
ama nereye kadar?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
yiyip
yedirenin
\u00e7al\u0131p
ka\u00e7\u0131ran\u0131n
a\u00e7\u0131kg\u00f6z
i\u015fbilenin
\u00e7ok oldu\u011fu
ve el \u00fcst\u00fcnde tutuldu\u011fu
g\u00fczelim memleketim de
bu gidi\u015fle kararacak olan
yaln\u0131z bizim ya\u015fam\u0131m\u0131z de\u011fil
s\u00f6z konusu olan
gelece\u011fimiz
her \u015feyimiz
g\u00f6zbebeklerimiz
\u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131zd\u0131r<\/p>\n\n\n\n
kafalar\u0131 cin
mayalar\u0131 kin
olanlara s\u00f6z\u00fcm yok!
kararmas\u0131n yar\u0131nlar\u0131m\u0131z!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
beni anlayabiliyor musunuz?
1996\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
kirlilik<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
eller kirli
kalpler kirli
d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler \u00e7\u0131kara ko\u015fullanm\u0131\u015f
d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler kirli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
beyinlerin k\u0131lcal damarlar\u0131
mideye ba\u011flanm\u0131\u015f
beyinler kirli<\/p>\n\n\n\n
el kirlili\u011fi
beden kirlili\u011fi
aklan\u0131r paklan\u0131r
peki ama
kirli kalpleri
kirli beyinleri
ne ile temizleyece\u011fiz?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“temiz eller” i\u00e7in \u00f6nce
kalpler ve beyinler
kirden ar\u0131nmal\u0131
1996\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
ama hak ettin<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
1.<\/strong>
ha bire
oy istediler
demokrasi diye
kalk\u0131nma diye
halk\u0131m da bast\u0131 m\u00fchr\u00fc:
oka
ata
kurda
ku\u015fa
ar\u0131ya
birde
hil\u00e2le<\/p>\n\n\n\n
sonu\u00e7ta:
ok
vurdu
at
tekmeledi
kurt
par\u00e7alad\u0131
ar\u0131
soktu
hil\u00e2l
uyuttu
yine de her se\u00e7imde
s\u00fcr\u00fc gibi arkalar\u0131ndan gidildi<\/p>\n\n\n\n
yok ki farklar\u0131
kimin kazanaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131n
ne \u00f6nemi var?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.<\/strong>
y\u0131llar ge\u00e7ti
ne demokrasi kuruldu
ne kalk\u0131nd\u0131k
alamad\u0131k
kendi kaderimizi elimize
\u00e7izilen dairede d\u00f6nd\u00fck durduk<\/p>\n\n\n\n
kabahat sende:
okun
sivri ucunu
at\u0131n
pek olan tekmesini
kurdun
y\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 di\u015fini
ku\u015fun
aldat\u0131c\u0131 gagas\u0131n\u0131
ar\u0131n\u0131n
ac\u0131 i\u011fnesini
hil\u00e2lin
afyonunu
hak ettin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
su ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fczelli\u011fi<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
anas\u0131n\u0131 satay\u0131m
\u015fimdi
\u015fu an ne kadar \u00e7ok isterdim
ay \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda parlayan
bir akarsu ba\u015f\u0131nda olmay\u0131
ve gecelerin a\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 ye\u015fil kurba\u011falar\u0131n
doyumsuz \u015fark\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 dinleyerek
mest olmay\u0131.
may\u0131s 1996\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
kitaplar\u0131m ve babam<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
1.<\/strong>
dip\u00e7iklerle ya\u015fam\u0131n s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131n belirlendi\u011fi
g\u00fcne\u015fin do\u011fmak istemedi\u011fi diyarda
bilgiye susam\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131
cehaletin kavurucu s\u0131ca\u011f\u0131nda gideren
\u00e7i\u00e7eklerin g\u00f6z alabildi\u011fine serpildi\u011fi
insanlar\u0131n g\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc
tehlikeli ve \u00e7ekici a\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015flerimin d\u00fcnyas\u0131na
al\u0131p beni g\u00f6t\u00fcren
g\u00f6z\u00fcm gibi sevdi\u011fim kitaplar\u0131m
sizin yok olu\u015funuza yan\u0131yorum<\/p>\n\n\n\n
sizler
diyarbak\u0131r’da kitap bulundurman\u0131n
diyarbak\u0131r’da kitap okuman\u0131n
en b\u00fcy\u00fck su\u00e7 oldu\u011fu
akreplerin insanlar\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc d\u00f6nemde
babama emanettiniz<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.<\/strong>
o\u011fullar\u0131na ait
su\u00e7 unsuru olu\u015fturacak(!)
o g\u00fczelim kitaplar\u0131
babal\u0131k i\u00e7 g\u00fcd\u00fcs\u00fcyle
saklamak
ortadan kald\u0131rmak
ve bizleri korumak i\u00e7in
kendi ellerinle
naylon torbalara doldurdun
ve evimizin arkas\u0131ndaki tarlaya:
gelecekte d\u00fc\u015flerimizin
yeniden ye\u015fermesini istercesine
kazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00e7ukura g\u00f6md\u00fcn<\/p>\n\n\n\n
g\u00f6merken de
b\u0131y\u0131k alt\u0131ndan g\u00fclerek
-kendi kendine-
“ne kadar da \u00e7oktur” dedin<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3.<\/strong>
o zorlu y\u0131llarda
o\u011fullar\u0131ndan
birinin tutuklu
birinin aran\u0131r
birinin asker
olmas\u0131
yetmezmi\u015f gibi
havas\u0131zl\u0131ktan ve terden kitaplar\u0131m\u0131z da
naylon torbalarda hamurla\u015f\u0131p
yok oldu<\/p>\n\n\n\n
kitaplara
benden \u00e7ok sen \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcn
sanki
evlad\u0131n\u0131 yitirmi\u015f\u00e7esine
ac\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011fine g\u00f6md\u00fcn<\/p>\n\n\n\n
4.<\/strong>
baba!
\u015fimdi istanbul’da
evimde oturmu\u015fum koltu\u011fa
bak\u0131yorum raflardaki kitaplar\u0131ma
d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum ac\u0131 g\u00fcnlerimizi
\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc y\u0131l\u0131nda
ne kadar \u00e7ok \u00f6zlemi\u015fim
me\u011fer seni
8 temmuz 1995\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
vedala\u015fmadan giden<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
o
yap\u0131 i\u015f\u00e7isi
ta\u015f yontucusu
bir “minare ustas\u0131”yd\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
o
bazen
\u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7 gece
kumar masas\u0131ndan kalkmayan
ak\u015famlar\u0131 da bir ka\u00e7 tek atan
ve hi\u00e7 kimseyi incitmeyen
hi\u00e7 kimseye bor\u00e7lu olmayan
seveni \u00e7ok
bir “g\u00f6n\u00fcl dostu”ydu<\/p>\n\n\n\n
o
yurtd\u0131\u015f\u0131nda
hollanda da a\u011f\u0131r metal i\u015finde \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan
ailesinin hasretine
dayanamay\u0131p d\u00f6n\u00fcp gelen
bir “gurbetci”ydi<\/p>\n\n\n\n
o
i\u015fyerleri a\u00e7\u0131p
ticareti beceremeyen
ve “bana g\u00f6re i\u015f de\u011fil!” diyen
bir “esnaf”t\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
o
yobazlara gericilere k\u0131zan
\u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131 ayd\u0131nl\u0131k gelecek i\u00e7in
g\u00fcc\u00fc yitti\u011fince okutan
\u00e7ocuklar\u0131 devrimci
kendisi tasavvufa g\u00f6n\u00fcl vermi\u015f
bir “\u015feyh”di<\/p>\n\n\n\n
o
do\u011fayla her g\u00fcn i\u00e7 i\u00e7e olan
g\u00fcvercin tavuk horoz tav\u015fan
k\u00f6pek inek koyun
ve ar\u0131 besleyen
salatal\u0131k domates biber patl\u0131can
turp maydanoz so\u011fan
ve \u00fcz\u00fcm armut kay\u0131s\u0131 kiraz yeti\u015ftiren
ve ar\u0131 kovanlar\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7inden hi\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131kmayan
bir “balc\u0131 day\u0131”yd\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
o
bir o\u011flu cezaevinde siyasi tutuklu
bir o\u011flu illegal
bir o\u011flu da asker iken
f\u0131rsat\u0131 kollayan h\u0131rs\u0131zlar
koyun ve ar\u0131 kovanlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda
koyun ve ar\u0131lar\u0131na de\u011fil
kendi kimsesizli\u011fine k\u0131zan
ve “yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 f\u0131rsat bildiler!” deyip
a\u011flayan
ve her \u015feye ra\u011fmen
cezaevi \u00f6n\u00fcnden hi\u00e7 ayr\u0131lmayan
bir “baba”yd\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
o
gen\u00e7leri \u00e7ok seven
gen\u00e7lerin her zaman
bir “cuma day\u0131”s\u0131yd\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
o
hasta yata\u011f\u0131nda
fena halde yatarken
kendisini ziyaret eden
dostum cemal y\u0131ld\u0131z’\u0131n
“nas\u0131ls\u0131n day\u0131?” sorusuna:
“evlat bu gece
azrail ba\u015fucumda
dolan\u0131p durdu.
kalkt\u0131m,
insanlar\u0131 kurtarmak i\u00e7in
ald\u0131m silah\u0131 vurmak istedim
ama ka\u00e7t\u0131.
aah! bir daha gelirse\u2026
ya ben onun anas\u0131n\u0131 ya o benim
anam\u0131 belleyecek” diyen
bir “deli bilge”ydi<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ve o
\u00f6l\u00fcm geldi\u011finde bile
\u015fafakta kalk\u0131p
sebze bah\u00e7esi ve ar\u0131 kovanlar\u0131n\u0131n
aras\u0131nda gezen
sonra s\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fc i\u00e7ip
sesiz sedas\u0131z
upuzun kalkmamak \u00fczere uzan\u0131p
ne bir a\u011fr\u0131
ne bir s\u0131z\u0131
\u00e7eken
ve bir daha geri gelmemek \u00fczere
vedala\u015fmadan giden
ve ruhunu do\u011fan\u0131n
engin esrar\u0131na g\u00f6nderen
hepimiz gibi
bir insand\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
o
benim sevgili babamd\u0131
9 temmuz 1995\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
kahve fal\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
ac\u0131 bir kahvenin
k\u0131rk y\u0131l hat\u0131r\u0131 varm\u0131\u015f<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ne hat\u0131r\u0131?
kahvenin telvesi
\u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f fincan\u0131n dibine
daralm\u0131\u015f ruhum
\u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 i\u00e7ime<\/p>\n\n\n\n
beni kim anlayacak?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
sa\u00e7lar\u0131
gonca kokan
g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcsleri
demircinin k\u00f6r\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi kalk\u0131p inen
dudaklar\u0131
g\u00fcl pembemsi alev a\u00e7an
ve kollar\u0131nda can buldu\u011fum
sen
anlamad\u0131ktan sonra
beni kim anlayacak?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
gecelerin sessizli\u011fi<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
gece olunca
karanl\u0131k gecelerin o kalbe i\u015fleyen sessizli\u011finde
g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne bak\u0131p
ate\u015f b\u00f6cekleri gibi parlayan y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131
hi\u00e7 seyrettiniz mi?
ve gece olunca
karanl\u0131k gecelerin o kalbe i\u015fleyen sessizli\u011finde
sevgilileri kavu\u015fturan, sevgilileri ay\u0131ran
ve d\u00fcnyan\u0131n bir ucundan gelip
ba\u015fka bir ucuna giden
ve ergani istasyonu’ndan her ge\u00e7ti\u011finde
y\u00fcre\u011fimden bir par\u00e7ay\u0131 da birlikte al\u0131p g\u00f6t\u00fcren
kara trenin sesini
hi\u00e7 dinlediniz mi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ya da gece olunca
karanl\u0131k gecenin o kalbe i\u015fleyen sessizli\u011finde
ampullerin kirli \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda
\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn so\u011fuk solu\u011fu ensende
h\u00fccrede bir ba\u015f\u0131nayken
veya ko\u011fu\u015fta arkada\u015flar\u0131nla
ranzada yatarken
diyarbak\u0131r-siverek karayolundan
gelip gecen arabalar\u0131n sesini
hi\u00e7 dinlediniz mi?
-hi\u00e7 kimsenin dinlemesini dilemem-<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ben
gecelerin o muazzam sessizli\u011finde
hem y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131 seyrettim
hem de trenle arabalar\u0131n sesini
\u00e7oook dinledim.
1995\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
s\u0131kma can\u0131n\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
yenilginin ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011finde duyan
ama hakl\u0131 olman\u0131n gururuyla
hi\u00e7 bitmeyecek sevdam\u0131n kavgas\u0131nda
ekmek
\u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck
ve a\u015fk
i\u00e7in
namlusu yivli y\u00fcre\u011fim
hep atacak<\/p>\n\n\n\n
g\u00fcn ola harman ola<\/p>\n\n\n\n
d\u00fcn ve bug\u00fcn<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
d\u00fcn
elimde bir manivela varm\u0131\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na
d\u00fcnyay\u0131 yerinden oynatmak
istiyordum
bug\u00fcn ise
evden i\u015fe i\u015ften eve
ko\u015fu\u015fturmaktay\u0131m
yani
t\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131k g\u00fcnl\u00fck ya\u015fam\u0131n pe\u015fine
ben ederim b\u00f6yle i\u015fin i\u00e7ine<\/p>\n\n\n\n
boynumun borcu<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
ucunda
\u00f6l\u00fcm olsa da
pasl\u0131 zincire vurulmu\u015f
beynimdeki b\u00fcy\u00fck gizi
\u00f6zg\u00fcr k\u0131lmak
boynumun borcu
yeter ki
\u00f6l\u00fcm a\u015fk gibi soylu olsun<\/p>\n\n\n\n
unutma
s\u00f6z namustur
bilmem nereden de\u011fil
a\u011f\u0131zdan \u00e7\u0131kar<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0130K\u0130NC\u0130 B\u00d6L\u00dcM<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
d\u00fcne tak\u0131l\u0131p kalmad\u0131m
d\u00fcn\u00fc de hi\u00e7 unutmad\u0131m<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201chaydar\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
(pek \u00e7ok \u00fclkeden istihbarat\u00e7\u0131lar kenya\u2019da d\u00fczenlenen uluslararas\u0131 yar\u0131\u015fmaya \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131lm\u0131\u015flar. yar\u0131\u015fmay\u0131, en k\u0131sa zamanda ormandan z\u00fcrafa yakalay\u0131p getiren kazanacakm\u0131\u015f. b\u00fct\u00fcn yar\u0131\u015fmac\u0131lar ormana dalm\u0131\u015f, sonra, t\u00fcrkiye\u2019den gidenler hari\u00e7 hepsi d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015fler. saatler sonra hortumu kesik, peri\u015fan ve zor y\u00fcr\u00fcyen koca bir fili t\u00fcrkler s\u00fcr\u00fckl\u00fcyorlarm\u0131\u015f.
j\u00fcri ba\u015fkan\u0131:
-ama bu z\u00fcrafa de\u011fil ki\u2026 diyecek olmu\u015f,
fil hemen:
ba\u015fkan\u0131m! ben z\u00fcrafay\u0131m!.. ben z\u00fcrafay\u0131m!.. diye yalvarmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f<\/em>.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
1.<\/strong>
diyarbak\u0131r 5 noluda
olmu\u015fuz tek s\u0131ra havaland\u0131rmada
le\u015f kargalar\u0131 gibi
gardiyanlar \u00fc\u015f\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fler \u00fczerimize
-g\u00f6zlerini g\u00f6zlerimizden ay\u0131rmadan
can\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 al\u0131rcas\u0131na-
vurarken sopay\u0131 g\u00f6sterip
ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yorlar durmadan:
\u201cbak\u0131n!.. bunun ad\u0131 haydar
ne namus koyar, ne ar
etmeseniz iman, sonra oyar.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ve ba\u015fka biri:
\u201cburada allah yok! peygamber izinde.
diz \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcn, edin t\u00f6vbe
yoksa kar\u0131\u015fmam, s\u00f6yletir haydar.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.<\/strong>
amans\u0131z sava\u015fta
\u201chaydar\u201d g\u00fcnlerce
tek tek
a\u011flatt\u0131 anam\u0131z\u0131
netice olsa da ac\u0131
anlad\u0131k bizler sonunda
bir inan\u00e7
bir de birliktir
zindanda ayakta kalman\u0131n ilac\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3.<\/strong>
diyarbak\u0131r 5 noluda
bizler yolcu
onlar hanc\u0131
d\u00f6k\u00fclenler
oldular birer \u201c\u00e7orbac\u0131\u201d
hanc\u0131 ba\u015flar\u0131 da
tarihe ge\u00e7ecek birer ibne-i sadist hac\u0131
-diyarbak\u0131r-<\/p>\n\n\n\n
y\u0131ld\u0131zlara akanlar<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
   -cezaevlerinde ya\u015famlar\u0131n\u0131 yitirenlere\u2026<\/em><\/code><\/pre>\n\n\n\n
onlar tutsakt\u0131
d\u00fc\u015fman elinde
d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131n evinde
ayaklar\u0131 zincirli
elleri kelep\u00e7eli
ba\u015flar\u0131 dikti<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ama sava\u015f\u0131rken onlar
y\u00fcrekleri yakan ate\u015f olup
y\u0131ld\u0131zlara akt\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
y\u0131ld\u0131zlara akanlara selam olsun
–diyarbak\u0131r<\/em>–<\/p>\n\n\n\n
s\u00f6nmeyen yang\u0131n<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
g\u00fcl\u00fcm
tutsak gecen bu amans\u0131z
g\u00fcnlerimde
seni her koklamak isteyip de
koklayamamam
ate\u015fe at\u0131lan
ya\u011fl\u0131 koca bir fitil gibi
i\u00e7imdeki yang\u0131n\u0131 durmadan
b\u00fcy\u00fctmekte
–diyarbak\u0131r<\/em>–<\/p>\n\n\n\n
kanad\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131k ser\u00e7em<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
benim
korkuyla kanat vuran
kanad\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131k ser\u00e7em<\/p>\n\n\n\n
benim
g\u00fczel kar\u0131m
i\u00e7ti\u011fim sigaran\u0131n duman\u0131
i\u00e7ti\u011fim plastik bardaklardaki \u00e7ay\u0131n
kokan buhar\u0131yla
sana
selamlar\u0131m\u0131
sana
sevgilerimi
sana
sayg\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131
g\u00f6nderiyorum
g\u00f6zlerinden \u00f6p\u00fcyorum<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ormanda yoklu\u011fumdan \u00fcrken ceylan\u0131m
-diyarbak\u0131r-<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
gizliden gizliye<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
yaln\u0131z gecelerimde
yo\u011fun so\u011fuk buzlu \u0131\u015f\u0131klar
kollar\u0131na ald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda beni
h\u00fccremde:
gizliden gizliye
\u015farap i\u00e7erken
duyulan haz gibi
gizliden gizliye
\u00f6p\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrken kalbimizin at\u0131\u015f\u0131 gibi
d\u00fc\u015flerime:
gizliden gizliye bulu\u015ftuk
gizliden gizliye konu\u015ftuk
gizliden gizliye yaz\u0131\u015ft\u0131k<\/p>\n\n\n\n
hani\u2026
bunca d\u00fc\u015f aras\u0131nda cennetin
yasak meyvesini de a\u015f\u0131rsayd\u0131k
hi\u00e7te fena olmazd\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
h\u00fccremde:
yine seni d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum
ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck\u00e7e
yaral\u0131yor
g\u00f6zlerinden s\u0131zan h\u00fcz\u00fcn y\u00fcre\u011fimi
-diyarbak\u0131r-<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
d\u00fc\u015f kurmaya bay\u0131l\u0131yorum<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
h\u00fccremde
yakas\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lmad\u0131k sevdalar\u0131n d\u00fc\u015fleriyle
buram buram isyan kokan may\u0131s geceleri
a\u015fk\u0131n cennet bah\u00e7esinde
ya\u015fam\u0131n hazine yuvas\u0131 olan
ve doyumsuz g\u00fczellikte a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131p kapanan
k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcn katmerleri aras\u0131nda
iki tenin har\u0131nda
bedenlerin sars\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131nda
sevgiden f\u0131\u015fk\u0131ran
nesilleri ba\u011flayan zincirin
halkas\u0131 olacak
ya\u015fam\u0131n en k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck h\u00fccresini ta\u015f\u0131yan
ya\u015fam\u0131n kayna\u011f\u0131 kimyasal \u00f6zsuyla
yeni bir tende
yeni bir can
olmak
kendimi sonsuza
ta\u015f\u0131mak istiyorum<\/p>\n\n\n\n
d\u00fc\u015f kurmaya bay\u0131l\u0131yorum
-diyarbak\u0131r-<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
k\u0131rk kap\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
1.<\/strong>
bug\u00fcn \u201canneler g\u00fcn\u00fc\u201d
diyarbak\u0131r ba\u011flar\u2019da
k\u0131rk kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131
k\u0131rk kap\u0131 kapand\u0131
iki g\u00f6z\u00fc iki \u00e7e\u015fme ana\u2019m
i\u00e7eri al\u0131nd\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
k\u0131rk kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131
k\u0131rk kap\u0131 kapand\u0131
a\u00e7\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f yerine
al\u0131nd\u0131m<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.<\/strong>
g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f yerinde
iki benim
iki ana\u2019m\u0131n
dikildi ba\u015f\u0131na
karay\u0131lan gibi
karaya\u011f\u0131z d\u00f6rt gardiyan<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3.<\/strong>
ana\u2019m g\u00f6r\u00fcnce beni
att\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131ndan kara\u00e7ar\u015faf\u0131n\u0131
ald\u0131 aras\u0131na kollar\u0131n\u0131n
sar\u0131ld\u0131 bana
sar\u0131ld\u0131m ana\u2019ma<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ana\u2019m
\u00f6pt\u00fc\u2026 \u00f6pt\u00fc\u2026 koklad\u0131
koklad\u0131\u2026 koklad\u0131\u2026 \u00f6pt\u00fc
y\u00fcz\u00fcme bakt\u0131k\u00e7a a\u011flad\u0131
-diyarbak\u0131r-<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
utku\u2019nun geli\u015fi<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
1.<\/strong>
bug\u00fcn 23 nisan 1984
bug\u00fcn \u201culusal egemenlik ve \u00e7ocuk bayram\u0131\u201d
bug\u00fcn \u201ca\u00e7\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u201d var<\/p>\n\n\n\n
yataklar\u0131m\u0131zdan kalkar kalkmaz
i\u00e7imizden birer t\u00fcrk\u00fc tutturarak
olduk t\u0131ra\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131
giyindik en g\u00fczel elbiselerimizi<\/p>\n\n\n\n
yirmi ayd\u0131r elleri ellerime
yirmi ayd\u0131r g\u00f6zleri g\u00f6zlerime
yirmi ayd\u0131r s\u00f6zleri kulaklar\u0131ma
de\u011fmedi<\/p>\n\n\n\n
bir bilseniz
nas\u0131l \u00f6zlemi\u015fim?
\u00f6yle bir g\u00f6zlerimde t\u00fct\u00fcyorlar ki
ozan\u2019\u0131mla utku\u2019m
ve analar\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.<\/strong>
g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmecilerinin gelece\u011finden
umutlu olanlar\u0131n dudaklar\u0131nda
gizemli bir tebess\u00fcm
herkes gibi ben de heyecanl\u0131y\u0131m
durmadan \u00e7arp\u0131yor kalbim
at\u0131yor g\u00f6z\u00fcm<\/p>\n\n\n\n
g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmecilerin gelece\u011finden
umudu olmayanlar\u0131n ise
beyinlerinde bin bir soru
kafalar\u0131 k\u0131zg\u0131n at\u0131yorlar voltalar\u0131n\u0131
d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorlar:
sevgililerini
\u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131
karde\u015flerini
analar\u0131n\u0131
babalar\u0131n\u0131
ve dostlar\u0131n\u0131
bense
duman\u0131yla sararcas\u0131na y\u00fcre\u011fimdeki yaram\u0131
yak\u0131yorum sigara \u00fcst\u00fcne sigaram\u0131
gelecekler mi diye
umutla bekliyorum s\u0131ram\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00e7ok s\u00fcrmedi
okundu ismim
geldi s\u0131ram
\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m!
koridorlar c\u0131v\u0131l c\u0131v\u0131l
\u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m
yirmi ayd\u0131r ilk defa
\u00e7ocuk g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum
\u00f6n\u00fcme \u00e7\u0131kan ilk \u00e7ocu\u011fun
sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 ok\u015fuyorum<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3.<\/strong>
sadece
\u00e7ocuklar\u0131 alm\u0131\u015flar i\u00e7eriye
kimi ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor
kimi a\u011fl\u0131yor
kimi de g\u00fcl\u00fcyor
ismimin okundu\u011funu duydu\u011fumda
bakt\u0131m o \u00e7ocuk denizinin i\u00e7ine
-ismi de yakas\u0131nda yaz\u0131l\u0131
tutmu\u015f elinden bir asker-
ko\u015ftum ald\u0131m kuca\u011f\u0131ma
o\u011flumu
utku\u2019mu<\/p>\n\n\n\n
sar\u0131ld\u0131m boynuna
f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131 kula\u011f\u0131ma
\u201cannemi b\u0131rakmad\u0131lar! d\u0131\u015farda
\u00e7i\u00e7ek getirdim sana\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
4.<\/strong>
o\u011flum kuca\u011f\u0131mda
\u00e7i\u00e7ekleri elinde
vard\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f kabinine
kar\u015f\u0131mda o\u011flumun anas\u0131
kar\u0131m<\/p>\n\n\n\n
cefakar kar\u0131m
bak\u0131yor tel \u00f6rg\u00fclerin aras\u0131ndan
g\u00f6zlerime
konu\u015fuyoruz g\u00f6zlerimizle sessizce<\/p>\n\n\n\n
5.<\/strong>
g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f kabininde
o\u011flumun elleri ellerimde
kar\u0131m\u0131n g\u00f6zleri g\u00f6zlerimde
tepemizdeki askerler
\u00e7\u00f6zmek i\u00e7in g\u00f6zlerimizdeki \u015fifreyi
k\u00f6r y\u0131lan gibi bak\u0131yorlar
g\u00f6zlerimizin i\u00e7ine<\/p>\n\n\n\n
g\u00f6zlerimizin i\u00e7ine bakan
o hain g\u00f6zler
\u015fifreyi \u00e7\u00f6zemez
\u015fifre g\u00f6zbebeklerinde sakl\u0131
onlar ne anlar
\u015fifre sevgide sakl\u0131
-diyarbak\u0131r<\/em>–<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u015fimdi \u00f6zg\u00fcr\u00fcm(!)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
hapisteyken:
bana
kar\u0131ma
ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131ma
amcam bakt\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n
unutmayaca\u011f\u0131m!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u015fimdi \u00f6zg\u00fcr\u00fcm(!)
bulam\u0131yorum
vermiyorlar bir i\u015f
yine
amcamla babam bak\u0131yor
bana
kar\u0131ma
ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131ma<\/p>\n\n\n\n
s\u00f6yle g\u00fcl\u00fcm?
bu i\u015f
b\u00f6yle ne kadar s\u00fcrecek
oldum sak\u0131ncal\u0131(!) diye:
ev yok
i\u015f yok
senin ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n
y\u00fcz\u00fcne bakmaya y\u00fcz\u00fcm yok<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00f6zg\u00fcr\u00fcm neye yarar?
\u015fimdi de i\u015fsizli\u011fe esir oldum<\/p>\n\n\n\n
en sevmedi\u011fim \u015feylerden biri de
bir parazit gibi
ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n s\u0131rt\u0131ndan ge\u00e7inmekti
o da ba\u015f\u0131ma geldi<\/p>\n\n\n\n
bana bakan:
amcam da olsa
babam da olsa
karde\u015fim de olsa
dokunuyor onuruma
25.9.2984\/bayrampa\u015fa\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201csen bu hallere de mi d\u00fc\u015fecektin?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
1.<\/strong>
hi\u00e7bir zaman
bu kadar kendimi
bir ba\u015f\u0131ma yaln\u0131z
hissetmemi\u015ftim<\/p>\n\n\n\n
koca bir da\u011f
\u00fcst\u00fcme \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f\u00e7esine
damarlar\u0131mdaki kan \u00e7ekilircesine
moralim bozuluyor
her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn
kalbim buruluyor
nedeni
i\u015fsizlik ve yaln\u0131zl\u0131k<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.<\/strong>
her \u00f6n\u00fcme gelenden
i\u015f istemekten
bir i\u015f bulmalar\u0131n\u0131 dilemekten
ulu cami \u00f6n\u00fcndeki
dilencilere d\u00f6nd\u00fcm
soruyorum kendi kendime
zaman zaman:
\u201cben bu hallere de mi d\u00fc\u015fecektim?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00f6nceleri
g\u00fcnde on ki\u015fi
i\u015f i\u00e7in i\u015fini g\u00f6rmek i\u00e7in
evde
i\u015fyerinde
kahvede
gelirdi yan\u0131ma
gece demeden g\u00fcnd\u00fcz demeden
kar\u0131nca karar\u0131nca
merhem olurdum yaralar\u0131na
\u015fimdi merhem olam\u0131yorum
kendi yarama<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3.<\/strong>
b\u00f6yle
kendimi bir ba\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7aresiz
b\u00f6yle
kendimi bir ba\u015f\u0131na paras\u0131z
b\u00f6yle
kendimi bir ba\u015f\u0131na yaln\u0131z
his edince
her \u015feye ana avrat s\u00f6vmek istiyorum
kendime ve gelece\u011fe olan g\u00fcven
olmasa
aral\u0131k 1984\/ bayrampa\u015fa\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
i\u015fsizlik-2<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
e\u015fyalar\u0131m\u0131z ergani\u2019de
bizler istanbul\u2019da
amcamlarday\u0131z
ve daha i\u015f bulamad\u0131m
darmada\u011f\u0131n\u0131\u011f\u0131z<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m?
nerede i\u015f bulaca\u011f\u0131m?
nereye gidece\u011fiz?
soru \u00e7ok yan\u0131t yok
b\u00fct\u00fcn ha\u015fmetiyle de geliyor k\u0131\u015f
odun k\u00f6m\u00fcr
yiyecek giyecek
ozan\u2019da okula gidiyor
bunlar\u0131 b\u0131rakal\u0131m da
daha \u015fimdiye kadar
kar\u0131m ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131ma
ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir \u015fey yok<\/p>\n\n\n\n
d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck\u00e7e bunlar\u0131
delirmemek elde de\u011fil
en iyisi
bunlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmemek
bize yak\u0131\u015fan iyimser olmakt\u0131r
k\u00f6t\u00fcmser d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceleri kafadan at\u0131p
do\u011fan her yeni g\u00fcne umutla bakmakt\u0131r
8.10.1984\/bayrampa\u015fa\/istanbul<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
M\u00fcsl\u00fcm \u00dcz\u00fclmez, Kendi Yay\u0131n\u0131, Ekim 1996, \u0130stanbul, 92 sayfa. \u00d6ns\u00f6z \u015fiirs\u00f6zc\u00fcklerinak ka\u011f\u0131t \u00fcst\u00fcndeahenkle dans edipsonra sevi\u015fmesi olsa gerek? B\u0130R\u0130NC\u0130 B\u00d6L\u00dcM g\u00fczel olanhayat\u0131n gergefindepayla\u015fman\u0131n mutlulu\u011funu ya\u015famakt\u0131r dilek ipek elli dokumac\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131ngergefindeki her yeni nak\u0131\u015fisterim kici\u011ferlere saplanan alevlenmi\u015fbir kur\u015fun de\u011filg\u00f6n\u00fclleri ate\u015ften kavrulansevdal\u0131lar\u0131n bulu\u015ftu\u011fubir g\u00fcl bah\u00e7esi olsun da\u011flar birinin ba\u015f\u0131di\u011ferinin eteklerine yaslanm\u0131\u015fyan yana uzay\u0131p gidenkarl\u0131 da\u011flarulusunuzg\u00fcne\u015f \u00f6nce size do\u011far do\u011fru olan y\u00fcre\u011fininve beynindiri kalmas\u0131ihanet ve yanl\u0131\u015fad\u00fc\u015fmemesi i\u00e7inak\u0131l\u0131na dan\u0131\u015fku\u015fkuya d\u00fc\u015ferseny\u00fcre\u011finin sesini dinle her \u015feyi \u00e7ok iyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fclmelikarar vermeden \u00f6nceyoksa yanl\u0131\u015f hesapba\u011fdat’tan d\u00f6ner a\u015fk\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011fe nak\u015feden zulm\u00fcn dikenleri aras\u0131na gizlenereky\u00fcre\u011fimin en gizli k\u00f6\u015fesindeinad\u0131na a\u00e7ang\u00fczel k\u0131r \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fim:ac\u0131y\u0131 balaumutsuzlu\u011fu umudasava\u015f\u0131 bar\u0131\u015fa\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc ya\u015famasuyu buharabuhar\u0131 ya\u011fmuraya\u011fmuru bereketebereketi a\u015fkaa\u015fk\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011fe<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1071],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5011","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kitaplar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5011","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5011"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5011\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5028,"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5011\/revisions\/5028"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5011"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5011"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uzulmez.site\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5011"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}